May 17, 2021 Phyllis Hillwig Current Events

The Most Important Skills for Success That Are NOT Taught

As we get ready to close one of the toughest school years ever faced, one could argue that our kids learned very little academically this year. The Wall Street Journal on May 12th, 2021 published an article about rampant cheating and how easy it was during COVID. Thousands of ‘homework help’ websites allow you to get step-by-step help, auction your assignments, and share exam questions or paper topics. I know kids who have used these sites and cheated with friends. When I confront them, the answer is, “Everyone does it.” What are kids actually learning and whose work is it really?

As we all try to find the right formula to deal with post-COVID learning challenges, there are actually other more valuable skills that are not being addressed at all. One of them is used everyday and can cause the most problems and inspire the most productivity from individuals.

I’m referring to people skills.

I’m not talking about saying hello and having good manners. I’m talking about the ability to read, persuade, lead, empathize, relate, connect, and communicate with just about anyone you come across, from the random person the street, to the most famous person in the world.

I’d like you to pause and think about people you know personally who have such skills. Chances are, you like and want to be around them. They may be your influencers, leaders, and those you trust. Are they the smartest people you know? Not necessarily.

Let me give you three examples of why people skills are equally as if not more, important than just being smart.

Example 1: Relationships Create Opportunities
Do you know people who got a job or found an opportunity based on who they know? The old saying, “It’s not what you know but who you know,” is true now more than ever. Large companies like Deloitte get about 400,000 resumes a year. The hiring process is prioritized for those who were recommended personally Building relationships and networking takes people skills. People like to work with others they like and they can relate to. In some cases, if someone is likable, then others may help, forgive, tolerate, or put up with more than they would otherwise.

From LinkedIn to social media, who you know and who you follow, will define who you are and what’s important to you. Without the ability to connect or relate to people, you limit your network and potential opportunities.

Example 2: People Skills Are In Demand
Manpower Group, a publicly traded company and one of the largest staffing organizations in the world, surveyed 2,000 US employers. Over 61% of these companies rated ‘soft’ abilities such as communication, collaboration, problem-solving, as most desired skills in prospective hires. LinkedIn published a “Grad Guide for Getting Hired” and listed soft skills as some of the most looked for across all industries. People have to work globally, across platforms, ages, cultures, and silos. Your ability to lead and work well with others to produce results is more valuable than what you actually know. Plenty of people know what you know. What you do with that information to help others is valuable.

Example 3: Lack of People Skills Limits Leadership Opportunities

In the United States, Asians hold the highest level of education and are one of the highest income producers more than whites.

But did you know that Asians have one of the lowest representation in senior leadership positions? According to Diversity Inc, Asians make up less than 2% of Fortune 500 CEOs. What is stopping them from becoming top leaders? According to writer Jane Hyun, who wrote the book “Breaking the Bamboo Ceiling, Career Strategies for Asians”, the reasons why Asians can’t break through the ceiling, despite their educational attainment, include a combination of cultural norms, racial inequality, and perceived lack of leadership and communication skills – or people skills. Stanford University has an executive leadership program specifically designed to help Asians break the Bamboo Ceiling, with a single course costing tens of thousands of dollars – focused primarily on skills like negotiation, building trust, and leadership.

At Eurekii, helping kids academically is important, but the work we do goes beyond that. We want them to have strong people skills. We engage them in dialogue and ask them to explain their work. We connect with them through humor, empathy, trust, common interests, and understanding their goals. As kids get more confident, we encourage them to share and convince others of their ideas.

Here are some things you can do right now with your children to build their people skills. Recommend that they:

be the first to engage and make people feel comfortable in that moment.
be genuine and fun to be around.
remember it is not what you say, but what is heard.
wait for the right moment- timing is everything.
be self-aware and watch for the unspoken communication.
frame things in a positive context
build trust – do favors, be helpful, and serve just because.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

As humans, we are social creatures in need of acceptance and connections. A focus and attention to building better relationships and improving people skills is exactly what this world needs right now.